January 2012
16 posts
walt whitman: How is it I extract strength from the beef I eat?
andy dwyer: Did you know that the food you eat becomes energy? *kicks* That's spaghetti!
“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”
– John Mulaney
“Once we rehabilitate the environment, withdraw from foreign conflicts, and...”
– DC Pierson
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ON HARVARD TIME
this is what i do with my energy and also time and also jokes
“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”
– Ernest Hemingway
war whores
starring benedict cumberbatch as the titular whore
such a surreal moment
seeing kristen wiig doing a sketch on SNL and realizing that you saw it performed at second city two years ago, by an understudy. and now the woman who wrote the sketch is an SNL writer and the understudy was Vanessa Bayer.
knowing i was there when those people didn’t know they would be on SNL is making me feel like maybe one day I’ll be doing something equally amazing
“You’re always where you’re supposed to be, I think, or something.”
– Harris Wittels (writer for Parks and Recreation)
christopher walken gives the best, best, best... →
courtroom (this is old, but eh!)
LAWYER: May it please the Court, and you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury-
JUDGE: (Fans self)
LAWYER: The accused, Steve Bunker, is guilty.
JUDGE: (Wipes sweat away from face) I’m sorry, what was that?
LAWYER: The defendant is guilty.
JUDGE: Hmm. (Pulls collar away from neck)
LAWYER: Mr. Bowen blatantly failed to stop his car behind an unloading school bus-
JUDGE: (Sprays water on self) Heavens to Murgatroyd, it is HOT in here!
LAWYER: -and because of this he hit little Joy Davis.
JUDGE: Hot as TARNATION!
LAWYER: Luckily little Joy suffered only minor injuries -
JUDGE: Excuse me, now – is it just me, or is it extremely warm in here?
LAWYER: I suppose it is balmy, your honor.
JUDGE: Hoo-ee! Glad it’s not just me. (Unbuttons top button of robe) Please proceed. Unless you want to declare a mistrial on account of heat! No, I’m just joking, please proceed.
LAWYER: Uh, all right. Little Joy suffered only minor physical injuries, but she has suffered major psychological injuries.
JUDGE: I’m sorry, one moment – Marge, could you bring me a large cup of iced tea?
COURT STENOGRAPHER (MARGE): I’m sorry, your honor?
JUDGE: To cool me down. I simply cannot function in this heat!
LAWYER: …
JUDGE: And please, some tea for the jury as well.
LAWYER: You honor, may I proceed in the meanwhile?
JUDGE: And an electric fan. One that swivels.
LAWYER: Your honor?
JUDGE: Or, you know… rotates.
LAWYER: …
JUDGE: It’s just so warm in here!
“You get shit when you don’t pretend you’re fucking too cool for...”
– Patrick Carney
December 2011
12 posts
Watchoboe he didn’t!! OBOE HE DID!
this sketch absolutely tickles me
tuba, music’s answer to the fart
i like "the league"
because it is the only show that has ever correctly pronounced “samhain”
also because it is hilarious
"everyone knows the only thing we should be...
i’ve been noodling on writing a tv show about bad body image but then i remembered that 30 rock pretty much has that shit on lockdown
There's nothing we can't do if we work hard, never...
THREE PAPERS ONE DAY ALL OF THEM IN ON TIME
I AM LESLIE KNOPE RAWR RAWR RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
note to self
“I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out.”
- Mindy Kaling
physical improv workshop with jet eveleth
my version of 21st birthday extravaganza is apparently
physical improv workshop
vegan diner
second city e.t.c. show???
COCAINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watchmost absurdly amazing SNL sketch.
beep boop beep
rarely have i felt more accomplished
than just now, when I transferred all my music from my computer (jack kerouac) to my external hard drive (walt whitman)
here’s how it went down:
this morning: tried to buy a new Vampire Diaries episode, was told I had no memory
extensive google searches
like 1+ hour of just letting my computer do its thing
226 GB OF FREE SPACE, NERDBOTS!
seriously, I cannot even deal with this....
dancing advent calendar →
j-term, please arrive
reading list:
live from new york
a book about del close
pawnee
mindy kaling’s book
the joke and its relation to the unconscious, freud
ant farm and elliot allagash, simon rich
hunger games
November 2011
9 posts
The Dec 3 "LAUGH OUT YOUR TROUBLES" SHOW
tlaimprov:
Come join TLA at our LAST SHOW OF THE SEMESTER, this Saturday December 3 at 8pm in Science Center E (in the basement).
“Exercise** gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t just go and shoot their husbands.”
**and LAUGHTER
harvard vs. yale?
MORE LIKE EDWARD VS JACOB
just a very good song
anxiety
it’s not that i’m actually going to cry or throw up, it’s just that i have a constant low-level desire to do both
object work
putting on a necklace is the new slicing a loaf of bread
“Don’t think you are ever going to please everyone. Try to forget about...”
– Merrill Markoe
October 2011
10 posts
“The people who are true talents, they don’t care what anyone’s...”
– Riki Lindhome (in an interview w Matthew Gray Gubler!!)
SHOW Thursday October 27, 8pm!
tlaimprov:
Come check out TLA’s Halloween show filled with spookily-hilarious improvisational comedy.
Harvard University, Science Center E. (in the basement!)
8pm!
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-10-16) →
Kanye West (27)
Fleet Foxes (14)
Kings Of Leon (14)
Regina Spektor (10)
Vampire Weekend (9)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
context
first cuts of lampoon are today. these Infinite Jest quotes are really speaking to my anxiety
“Everyone is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they...”
– Infinite Jest
“No matter how smart you thought you were, you are actually way less smart than...”
– Infinite Jest
“They mean the rankings to help you determine where you are, not who you are.”
– Infinite Jest
“I live in a state of constantly being ten minutes away from having a hair...”
– Mindy Kaling
“I never feel guilt in taking any pleasure.”
– Padma Lakshmi
September 2011
5 posts
Congratulations to TLA's newest member!
tlaimprov:
Kyla Haggerty! Watch out for this girl’s hilarity, coming soon to a HARVARD near you!
“I remember that she also once boasted that she rarely made eye contact.”
– Rick Moody, re: Angela Carter
