i was raised by the You've Got Mail soundtrack
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courtroom (this is old, but eh!)
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LAWYER:
May it please the Court, and you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury-
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JUDGE:
(Fans self)
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LAWYER:
The accused, Steve Bunker, is guilty.
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JUDGE:
(Wipes sweat away from face) I’m sorry, what was that?
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LAWYER:
The defendant is guilty.
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JUDGE:
Hmm. (Pulls collar away from neck)
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LAWYER:
Mr. Bowen blatantly failed to stop his car behind an unloading school bus-
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JUDGE:
(Sprays water on self) Heavens to Murgatroyd, it is HOT in here!
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LAWYER:
-and because of this he hit little Joy Davis.
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JUDGE:
Hot as TARNATION!
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LAWYER:
Luckily little Joy suffered only minor injuries -
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JUDGE:
Excuse me, now – is it just me, or is it extremely warm in here?
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LAWYER:
I suppose it is balmy, your honor.
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JUDGE:
Hoo-ee! Glad it’s not just me. (Unbuttons top button of robe) Please proceed. Unless you want to declare a mistrial on account of heat! No, I’m just joking, please proceed.
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LAWYER:
Uh, all right. Little Joy suffered only minor physical injuries, but she has suffered major psychological injuries.
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JUDGE:
I’m sorry, one moment – Marge, could you bring me a large cup of iced tea?
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COURT STENOGRAPHER (MARGE):
I’m sorry, your honor?
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JUDGE:
To cool me down. I simply cannot function in this heat!
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LAWYER:
…
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JUDGE:
And please, some tea for the jury as well.
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LAWYER:
You honor, may I proceed in the meanwhile?
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JUDGE:
And an electric fan. One that swivels.
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LAWYER:
Your honor?
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JUDGE:
Or, you know… rotates.
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LAWYER:
…
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JUDGE:
It’s just so warm in here!
